ELLIPSIS

I have known about this competetion for months. I have known what I wanted to write about. And now, in the last hour of submission, I must admit that I have not done the job I should. I am not submitting.

If I won, I would receive more than 13 months of minimum wage in Chile. So why did I not just write it? Well, I did. I did my research, interviewed the artist, took notes, wrote a draft, and a second draft. And still I did not write, not for real.

Excuse number 1:
I did not find the exhibition I really, like really, wanted to write about.

Excuse number 2:
The exhibition I really wanted to write about was not fashionable and famous enough.

Excuse number 3:
The exhibition I wanted to write about would never win a competition like this.

At the end of the day, I am in the wrong part of the world, not finding the perfect exhibition. I can place all of the guilt on that. This city, this country is behind in the race of contemporary art, running on the same spot of latinamerican art, doing the same steps over and over again.

Or, at then end of the day I was in the wrong part of the world, a part that care about itself, its own problems and ways of expressing, obeying to the new, to innovation, and at the same time to forms, ways of doing artwriting about the new, that might in fact just be the same, as always.

And now, at the end of the day I am in a café, not finding the space in me to obey, either to this or to that, but to myself. And my own writings. And maybe this is where I want to be, for now, until something else passes by and things appear, things that complement, rather than contrast.